Hey Dude!! I am Rude

 

It was a pleasant Friday morning. We were driving towards Wyanad for a holiday. Mood in the car was jovial. It has been some time we have gone for a vacation and here we are going for a vacation. We were nearing Mysore and there you go, everything turned upside down. There was a speed breaker on the road. I decelerated the car and then I had to helplessly watch the rear view mirror to see the car behind me forcefully colliding my car. Impact was so high that my car collided the rear of the car which was in front of my car. Cheer turned to rage!!! Then I see a middle aged man jumping out of the car and I shouted at him “Andha hai kya, Are you blind. This is ridiculous”. As I told this, I glanced on the rear of my car and figured the damage was pretty high. Mr.X who caused the damage walked towards me and apologized. He had worn a T-shirt and half pants and felt as if he woke up and directly walked into the car. Something had badly spilled over his T-shirt and later on I figured out that his wife was feeding Gulab Jamun and in that romantic moment he lost sight of the road and the rest is history. Oh, God!!!! Then driver of the car in front of mine came and started literally shouting at Mr.X in top of his voice. Mr.X started sweating and for a small dent on the bumper Mr.X was asked to pay Rs.8000, which he paid and settled. Mr.X’s car broke down, but my car fortunately was in a working condition. As if a favour done to humanity Mr.X told “Good there is no human casualty”. I kept my cool, even though inside I was boiling with rage. Here is the reckless guy who has turned my holiday into a horrible day. Then he calls up his friends in Mysore. We go together to police station. I see Mr.X’s friends chatting with police in Kannada. We explain to police the incident. Police register a case and gives case note which is written in Kannada to me for insurance claim. Since I did not know Kannada and I asked Mr.X’s friends to read the case note. They told everything is fine. Later on when the events unfolded, I figured out being a cultured human always works as a disadvantage. After I am back in Bangalore, I go to the insurance company and submit my claim and attached the police case note with the claim form. I explain to the insurance officer about the incident. After I reach back my office, I get a call from insurance company officer. He tells that police case note says that I had taken my family to a temple and when I reversed the car it collided a tree causing the damage. This is what is called being rude!!!! I called up Mr.X and he acted as if he had no clue about anything. That is worse than being rude…… Anyways, I somehow fixed the issue and got the claim approved. If I had been rude to Mr.X like the car driver who shouted and took Rs.8000 for the damage, probably Mr.X would not have taken me for a ride. Yes my friend, being rude is the way to do. Tell “Hey Dude, I am rude!!!!”, that is what the world wants……

Rudeness is an attribute which I see these days people are possessing with a sense of pride as part of their persona. You can see it in their body language, the way they converse, the way they express themselves, etc. In fact, we do not possess this attribute inherently, but people train themselves to be rude. Logically, progress in collective intellect of our species should lead to refinement in our behaviour. Whereas, what I see is the opposite. It seems to be an oxymoron. So what is wrong? Erosion of values. It is high time we realize this and take corrective action.

I see rudeness in all walks of life. Look at the advertisements these days. Whether it is required or not we will see a woman with fine contours giving you a rude look. Oh Sorry!! Which world am I in, rudeness is beauty these days. Yes, some time I feel like an alien in my own planet. Have you observed chat language of youngsters. Oh boy, it is rude!!!

It was a weekend and after my afternoon nap, I was lazing on the sofa with a cup of tea. Calling bell rang and I opened the door. My son’s friend who stays in the campus was at the door. “Hello, Manoj. How are you?” I asked. He acted as if he did not hear that and with a sense of urgency he asked “Uncle, can I get Sidu’s football?”. I replied “Why not?”. I called up my son “Sidu, Manoj has come. Go and play with him”. My son came running and then Manoj says, “Sidu, I did not say I want to play with you. I just want your football”. I wondered, what is that? Yet again a small child is saying “Hey, Dude. I am rude”…..

We complain about today’s youngsters being rude, but mistake is committed by us. In the rat race of amassing material possessions we fail to spend valuable time with our young ones to inculcate a good value system.

This incident happened in one of the organizations that I used to work. It was hectic time at work; meanwhile a worldwide contest was announced in the organization, for employees to develop a software solution using a suite of products. Myself and two of my colleagues signed up as a team for the contest. Two colleagues did some lip service around that, but all the work was done by me. I had to stretch myself over the weekends and after office hours. We won the contest and without any doubt other two proposed that we should split the prize money equally. I know all of you will have a similar story to say. But story is not over yet. After a week myself, one of the colleagues who was there in the contest team and three others were having lunch and topic of discussion was the contest. Then I made a statement that all work was done by me and I found the other colleague was offended. He called me aside and started aggressing. Hey Dude, I am rude!!!

Often rudeness originates from aggression. Today’s so called corporate philosophy has elements of aggression in it either explicitly or implicitly. This has repercussions on society. But corporates are part of the same society and hence corporate philosophy has origins from the same society.

We had just moved to our new house which I had bought in Whitefield (Bangalore). I was discussing about the house and neighbouring locality to some of my friends in a get-together, and, here walks in one of my friends. He is very particular he has to pass a comment. He makes a remark “Vinod, what a place yaar? Why did you buy there? So far from city and not a place good to settle down”.  Why should somebody speak that way? Anybody knows what it means to buy a house and how much effort goes into it. It is nothing but rudeness. Hey Dude, I am rude……

Rudeness does not go hand in hand with humility and empathy, two important characteristics of a healthy society. I see people walking around with a ton of ego and it manifests as rudeness. People are immersed in oneself and are insensitive to others and hence devoid of empathy.

Indian ethos has taught us to be humble. Why were we taught to prostrate in front of Guru. It is an expression of respect and humility. These days I see several youngsters hesitating because they feel it affects their self-esteem. People try to differentiate from others by enacted sophistication. It looks ridiculous!! Simplicity reduces desire, and that leads to contentment. One who is self-aware and contented cannot be rude.

Influence of Random Events

One of the most important causal factor which has played a pivotal role in formation of you as a unique entity in this cloud of randomness is the effect of a set of random events you were subjected to. So if anyone at any point gets overwhelmed by aham, just think that a large part of you is imbibed out of those random events which was a contribution of the sea of energy around you which could be spiritual or physical, without which someone is not the one he is. Planning to write on this theme soon!!

Identity

What does identity mean? There is physical identity which is the physical structure which our eyes use to identify a person. But is that what his identity is. Infact scientific definition of equivalence fail. If two human entities are physically equivalent does not mean they are identical. I have been trying to comprehend this interesting fact and trying to logically reason out, then what is identity of human. After sufficient thought I came to this conclusion. Human identity is a composition of his/her's measure in various dimensions that human life has. Life can be viewed as n dimensional space. Some examples for these dimensions are visual creativity (arts), logical conclusive reasoning (science), unbounded imagination (arts),
adventure (sports), philosophic thinking, etc. I know it is a crude thought which I feel in the course of time will get refined. Every human being has a place in this n dimensional space. Human's response to an external stimuli is governed by the dimensions he has and the measure of them. I have found that more dimensions a person has more receptive he/she is and more wiser he/she becomes. Many of these dimensions are related. When you have deeper understanding, you feel they converge. Dimensions that someone possesses also has an important role to play in him/her to connect with others through a relationship. Deep relationship emerge when there are similarities in dimensions else it does not stay.

A Noble gesture

Are humans receptors to good vibes in a social network? I feel the probability for this is falling day by day. Let us take a simple example. A sincere smile from someone is a good vibe, with a lot of positiveness. How many of us respond to a sincere smile, whole heartedly? I have often seen, goodness in someone perceived as weakness. A sincere smile is like an oasis in a desert. A noble gesture which can do wonders. I have tried to observe how people respond to a smile in my city life, and those observations have lead to certain dismal realizations. Often subject of stimuli, interprets it as an acknowledgement to his/her's distinguished existence, rather than, humiltiy and goodness of the source. This is a grossly skewed interpretation leading to an inappropritate response.
Is this so important in a social context? Yes it is. This is my strong belief. Sum total of goodness in a society derives out of these small noble gestures.
Somebody gives you a good smile that is originating from goodness in him, respond without any hesitation and with utmost sincerity. Let that be one more ray of goodness among a number of them that emerge out of your inner consciousness and WORLD WILL BE A BETTER PLACE!!!

Travelogue

The long awaited year end vacation came and we visited Kerala. In fact had a round trip. We strarted on December 19th afternoon from Bangalore. All three of us we excited about holidays. Looking forward to relax and rejuvenate ourselves to be prepared to take up challenges of next year.

We halted December 19th night at Salem . Started of early in morning on December 20th to Ernakulam, which is also called Cochin. We had a nice stay with my parents and my mother was busy making a lot of mouth watering dishes which was a treat for our taste buds!! Meanwhile Aparna got to know that Manjadikuru a Malayalam movie for which she had written dialogues has won IFFK best movie award. She was in a state of bliss and I was happy seeing that.
We had stayed there for 4 days and then on Dec 24th drove down to Thrissur. One of my favourite towns in Kerala. My brother in law is doing post graduation in psychiatry there. He stays very near the medical college which is situated in outskirts of Thrissur. It is wonderful place and was very queit and peaceful.
On December 25th drove down to Calicut and spend two days at Aparna's home.

River Retreat Resort

What I want to detail out in this travelogue is our visit to Shornur and stay in a resort right on the banks of Bharathapuzha which is one of the main rivers of Kerala.
Shornur, away from hustle and bustle of a city. Where life is around Bharathapuzha. Where you always hear her whispering. Where her glimmer touches your heart and her beauty humbles you. We stayed in River Retreat Resort (http://riverretreat.in/). It used to be summer palace of Maharaja of Cochin. The calmness that prevailed in the pristine ambience had a very positive and spiritual influence on my inner being. I rejoiced just as my son did. The small child in me was awake. Free from all the professional responsibilities. When I looked at Bharathapuzha, I felt that she was whispering to me, "Where are you all running to!!! I have been around for so long, as a helpless spectator, to the attrocities that you and your fellow creatures have been commiting." I had no words to pacify her and gazed at the endless river with despair.

Resort had good rooms and from restaurant there was a good view of Bharathapuzha.





Resort had a good swimming pool. From pool there was a very good view to the river. Both me and Sidu took a plunge into the pool and thoroughly enjoyed the time together.
During the sunset as the slanting rays from the Sun fell on the river it looked as if sun has metled into her adding a tinge of indigo into her complexion.
Second morning all of us visited Thiruvilwamala Temple (http://www.thiruvilwamala.com/) which is around 20 kms from the resort. The temple is on a rocky hill top. As I was climbing the stairs towards the temple, I could hear the rustle of the banyan leaves as the cool breeze blew across the banyan trees. Atmosphere in the temple was simply superb. Spiritual ambience elevated me to a state of trance.
Stay in River Retreat were among those moments in my life which I will always hold close to my heart.
Will blog soon with more thoughts and experiences......

My new dwelling!!

It has been long time since I have written something. Have been busy with personal work out of which most important has been shifting to a row house which we recently bought. When I write this writeup, some thoughts are coming to my mind. The evenings when I used to sit with Aparna in the living room of erstwhile home (apartment in Airport Road) and wonder whether we will ever live in an independent house in Bangalore. Well, with lot of pondering about different possibilities we used to conclude that, it is impossible.

Many of crucial decisions in my life has been pretty quick. The decision regarding this house was also similar.

We had visited my friend Jeetu's house in the same campus. We did not have any thought of changing our place of stay at that point. We saw the house and told Jeetu that it looks great and very spacious.

Aparna has been always a very adventurous character. Her curiosity in exploring ways of purchasing this row house has to be really appreciated, because, had it not been there I would not have even thought of that as a possibility for even a nanosecond!! :)

We had some very intense discussions of the financial implications, etc. etc. But then we thought this probably is a last opportunity for us to think of investing in a proper house which will be a long term investment. It had risk, because we had to sell our apartment before investing in this house, but my wife's optimism is just amazing. She was very convinced that we will be able to sell our apartment in a short span.

We met a bank officer to check on terms of loan and he gave me all math for the loan. My mental computer started making quick computations to see the book keeping and cash flow. It looked to be feasible.

With God's grace we could sell our apartment to a family friend and we shifted to our new dwelling on May 2008. Sidu was delighted because he had a lot of space to run within and outside home. I really enjoy the tranquil atmosphere. Aparna has a space for her arts school.

Having a garden in front of the house is a dream come true and I really enjoy seeing variety of flowers blossoming. Small joys of life which gives a sense of contentment!! It bring's back momories in my mind about my childhood days in Eloor (See Another Day in Paradise).

I like the drive towards our house because all along there are trees on both sides. The area is called Brookefields. Aparna has been busy all these days finding innovative ways of beautifying the house and she has been successful!! Her arts school has strarted. It is called Tarang School Of Arts.

I will be more regular in writing my thoughts and experiences!!

Till then....... Bye!!

Another Day in Paradise

It was a summer evening. I had finished playing cricket with my companions. That day we played in children’s park. I bid adieu to ‘the dwarf’, which was a bushy mango tree which never grew tall, on my way back home. May be it preferred to maintain status quo, because of deep compassion towards the young ones who used to play on it. Sky was clear, with light indigo shade blending with sky blue, indicating sun was bidding farewell to that day, after giving as much light as it can for the nature to blossom. There was a small pool of water near the overhead tank. Two myna’s were busy taking bath, and, it looked as if it was a rendezvous for them.
Bunch of white cranes were flying back to their resting place as part of their daily routine. They spent their day time near the banks of Periyar and adjoining paddy fields. Tall grass which grew in the park had turned brownish and dry, because it was latter half of summer. They swayed as the mild cool breeze which filtered through the giant mango and gulmohar trees blew across the park. I lazily walked towards my house. I could hear the melodious chirp of a cuckoo, which perched on one of those giant mango trees right across the street. I stepped out of the park onto the street. Street had turned into a carpet of flowers which fell from the canopy of gulmohar (vagaa) trees. I reached the arched gate of my house and observed that our white Pomeranian dog was amidst an evening nap, lying peacefully on the tranquil courtyard of the bungalow. As soon as, I opened the gate he instantaneously stood erect and darted an arrogant gaze towards the gate. When he comprehended that it was me, he reverted back to his resting position. I advanced towards my house by walking along the road within the compound which curved towards the car porch. Road was along the side of a lush green lawn, which was surrounded by a variety of flora. There were mosantha which had blood red flowers, shoe flower plants with red, yellow and orange flowers, the jack fruit tree, and so on. The three tall drooping ashoka trees stood majestically, revealing its humility by giving way to the wind.
My nose could filter out ordour of eucalyptus which the wind carried from the leaves of the eucalyptus tree which was one of it’s kind in the near vicinity. As I was taking a turn along the curve, a squirrel scurried across the road. He was not convinced of my friendly gestures, and, did not venture to my proximity. As I took the turn towards the car porch there were many gorgeous looking roses welcoming me home. It was delightful to watch them. My mother was plucking the dry leaves on them, and, she was doing it meticulously. As she took care of them with her tender hands, her endearment towards them was lucidly portrayed.
As I started climbing up the stairs in from of the bungalow, somebody called me. I opened my eyes and realized, I was deeply immersed in a dream. I dreamt about the bungalow and its surrondings, where I was extremely fortunate to celebrate my childhood. It was located in Eloor village near Cochin. I will cherish those memories for ever. Era in my life when every day was ‘Another day in paradise’

Beauty Of Divergence

This is an interesting thought which has enlightened my inner consciousness. In this age where I see people getting more inclined to forge themselves into stereotyped views about life and way to live, I personally feel sheer absence of tolerance. People getting offended about divergence in perspectives towards life and nature. They miss out on the fundamental axiom of life, which is based on evolution, and, divergence is an inherent dimension of evolution. Beauty of divergence is that it still maintains a delicate balance. Nature has very interesting and complex mechanisms to achieve equilibrium when there is a mutation in the ecosystem because of external and internal factors. There are a lot of disparities in physical and intellectual capabilities, in life style both imbibed and inherent and habitats that they thrive in, between millions of species in this planet. Those disparities have added beauty, bringing variety and different possibilities for life to survive, evolve and flourish.
But unfortunately, our species ‘homo sapiens’ do not seem to comprehend the aspect of divergence, which is one of the fundamental pillars, on which the nature, which we are part of, has evolved. We are oblivious to the ‘beauty of divergence’. We are obsessed about convergence of thought processes, perspectives regarding life and philosophies which defines the rules for the same. But what does this obsession lead to. Nothing but, constraining creativity due to extreme dogmatism, leading to complete absence of evolution of philosophies which has been driving force towards enriching collective wisdom of our species. Dogmatism is acme of attachment. All misery and enormity of conflicts which exists among humans is because of attachment to materialistic pursuits and stereotyped views regarding life.
When ever I tried to visualize nature, it appeared to me as a web, where the diverging strands can be compared to paths of evolution and circular strands to paths of relationships and dependencies. It is a very delicate and intricate network. We humans are just a node where the path of evolution of apes intersect the current outer most circular strand which gives a snapshot of the current ecosystem. If we consider the evolution of human civilizations, that also can be considered as a web, similar to the web of nature which I have indicated above.
Humans have a myopic view of this planet and cosmos. We are so ignorant about the existence of this closely knit artwork of nature, the ‘web of nature’. We tend to believe that everything is centered around our species, which is a irrational belief, and shows a complete depletion of common sense!! Same magnitude of ignorance is evident, when I see, squabbles and debates centered around, which philosophy, on which social and intellectual dynamics of a civilization revolves around, is correct and appropriate to follow. Each and every living entity is like are ray of light. Colour of a ray depends on elements which it is composed of and the intensity of each of its elements. If you look at a living entity, it’s definition of life, depends on it’s intellectual, physical and spiritual quotient. I am not sure how many of us appreciate this fact.
One truth that I have realized is that nothing is absolute in this cosmos. Every thing is relative. Definition of anything is relative and is based on defined frame of reference. I see some people proud about something disregarding the fact that we are all bound by relative assessments and when we thing we are good it is not necessarily good in a different frame of reference.
In spite of this divergence in the web of nature, there is an implicit oneness. No species can survive in isolation. Each has to play it’s role in this act of nature governed by the rules of nature. If this oneness is discovered by all, then all the conflicts will cease to exist. For discovering this ‘oneness’ the focal point of life has to change from self and accept self as part of the whole. This can only be achieved by attaining a certain level of detachment from material world. For last few centuries humans have grossly overlooked this implicit thread of oneness which has to resonate with the rhythm of life.
Life is a journey fuelled by knowledge. Nature is the tutor and the university. The divergence in the web of nature unfolds in front of us hiding all the complexities and exhibiting only the simplicity. Can we imbibe this simplicity? I myself have forgotten in this uni focused rat race of urban life, when I get time to observe nature, which I often used to do in my childhood days. Many of the innovations that we have in this century probably is not in favor of oneness of nature. That is leading to conflicts within our species and also across species.
As the cosmos is, everything, is in a constant state of flux. Nothing is permanent. Always in a transient state. But how many of us realize this. Many of us live in a false pretense of permanence which is not real!! We are all bound by the cosmic cycle. What does cosmic cycle mean? It is a cycle where there is no beginning nor end. The diverging paths of evolution which leads to expansion of cosmic web, cannot sustain the expansion along the time dimension and will implode back into the state where the cosmic web originated. Cycle goes on!! This is also true with the ‘web of nature’. But this cycle applies to the physical world. Body is only a medium through which the inner consciousness interacts with the material world. Journey of the inner consciousness continues. Is it cyclic? May be, May be not!!
We discussed about the divergence in the web of nature. But what gives the order to this expanding web. What gives it stability and the equilibrium and controls the entropy as it expands? The order and stability is there because of the inherent convergence of the laws of nature which govern the diverging paths of evolution. But what about the web of civilizations. Why there is so much of conflicts and instability in it? Does it have a convergence in laws governing it in terms of values and ethics. Until this is in place conflicts are inevitable. I dream of this world and hope will be a reality soon!!

Music and Mathematics

I love music and am very passinate about Hindustani music. Mathematics is part of music. But it is not just that. Because music is mix of various things. It has the pattern of notes which signifies a raag and brings in a certain mood. This was evolved out of last hundreds of years out of nature (which includes our species). If you look at taal cycles in music it is of course mathematical. Aspects of octaves and harmonics is mathematics. But there is a big aspect of what is called the 'bhaav' in the rendition. Even when you have a set of notes in a pattern, the combinations, emphasis on various notes and how that changes in various octaves influences the mood. This cannot be mathematically framed because this happens out of the creativity and feel of the mood that the artist has.
When I started learning music I had a thought that music is various permutation and combinations of the 7 notes rendered in a specific taal cycle in various octaves. But I discovered that it is much more than that. One day I was in thenmusic class. I was learning early morning raag "Bhibhas". I had started learning this raag 3 weeks back and it was 4 th class. My guruji Shri. Keerthi Kumar Bhaswashiji asked me to sing alaap. Alaap is the first phase in a raag rendition when the raag is introduced to audience and the mood is created. I had practiced alaap and started singing. After 5 minutes my guruji asked me to stop and with a mild smile he told me that "You are technically right but there is no bhaav. When you sing this raag you should feel the rising sun because raag has essence of nature" Then he started signing and I could feel the 'rising sun'. That experience made me think. It is an emotion which cannot be mathematically modelled. It is not a tangible material but an intangible experience.

Look at the para below. This I took from http://www.itcsra.org/ You can go thru this site for more information on Hindustani raags.

It is an ocean there and it is some thing like computer science. But it has some dimensions which science does not have. That is the spiritual and emotional dimension.
"Two ragas may have identical notes and yet be very different ragas; for example, two ragas mentioned earlier, Shree and Puriya Dhanashri, have exactly the same notes, but are unmistakably different in structure and temperament. The first can be identified by its continual exploration of the relationship of the note Re to the note Paa; while the repetition of the phrase Ma Re Ga Re Ma Ga, a phrase that would be inadmissible in the first raga, is an enduring feature of the latter. Certain arrangements of notes, then, are opposite to particular ragas and taboo to all others. A simple and abstract knowledge, thus of the notes of a raga or the thaat on which it is based, is hardly enough to ensure a true familiarity or engagement with the raga, although it may serve as a convenient starting point.
Thaat familiarity can only come from a constant exposure to, and critical engagement, with raga's exposition."

The Megalomaniac

I had gone for a dinner party in one of my friends house and I met him. Dressed up in up market attire he looked to be over whelmed by the abundance of wealth that he has got accustomed to. I could sense from his facial expressions and body language that all those gestures were skin deep and lacked originality. Effect of extensive hours of work out in a gym was evident from the shape of his biceps. There was a crowd around him listening to the up market gossip which was streaming out of his vocal cord. There was admiration in the eyes of each of those around him. It was very evident that admiration was not towards his personality, but to his opulence.
I feel this is a very common sight in 'supposed to be high class' parties. It is the same reason why I am averse to attending these parties. That day, as usual he had chosen the most popular theme these high class 'megalomaniacs' choose. Yes, you guessed it right 'India bashing'. The theme of discussion was backwardness of India in all fields. Bashing went on,forgetting the fact that he is deprecating his own country.
I believe in 'Karma Yoga'. What you are now is because of the sum total of the karmas that you have performed in the past. This is true in case of society, where each and every one plays a role. Our nation was a very rich and flourishing nation a few hundred years back. Look at Vedas, Upanishads which have very deep philosophy and scientific theories. It took a different path than Western methodology which is strongly based on experimentation. Indian philosophy evolved through intuition based discoveries, but they were accurate. Vedas had defined 'Anu' which is nothing but what we call an atom, long time before the Western civilization discovered it. Look at temples in India, which shows the marvel of civil engineering. Precision and perfection is very lucid. List goes on!! If our country is not having the prosperity which it had few hundred years back, each and every one of us and our fore fathers are responsible for the same. Simple conclusion using Karma Yoga. Let us accept that and correct our actions. These acrid, self-diminishing gossips are going to do no good. If some body talks this way it only shows total lack of commitment towards this country.
I always feel so fortunate to be born in this beautiful country with so much of variety. Where different streams of thought co-exist. But I feel disillusioned, when I see total lack of pride and sense of responsibility towards our nation. I was wondering when will we discover our collective strength and be proud to be an Indian.